Thirsty Thursday

126 ounces! How much water have you had today?

Workout Wednesday

Thought I'd try a new piece of equipment today. What's your go to exercise? What do you do to shake it up?

A Few Changes Around Here...

Welp, I've had a few of you let me know very (and sometimes not so) gently that ya'll could really care less about what I eat for breakfast on Monday, you just want to know I'm sticking on plan. I can't lie, either. I'll admit that there have been several times where I've not wanted to sit down and write out everything I ate throughout the day- not because I fell off the wagon, but because I just really don't want to look back and type out all of that information.

Sooooooo.... I'm changing up how I do my entries. Saturdays through Thursdays I will just blog about things like NSV's (non-scale victories), post nasty mugshots pictures of my flushed sweaty post-workout face, and randomness that pertains (most of the time) to my weightloss journey.

My accountability won't be disappearing from this blog, though. On Fridays I will summarize very quickly how I ate that week (i.e. Monday: 1349 calories/98g protein) and how I exercised (Tuesday: 1 hr walk with the puppers & 1 hr on treadmill). I am not sure if I'm going to keep posting my daily weigh-ins or if I'm just going to post a weekly "official" weigh-in. What would you rather see?

My other change around here? I've been going to The Gym every day and I'm hooked! How do I know that? The last few days anytime I'm getting frustrated or really annoyed with something at work, I've been glancing at the clock and telling myself "Only x-hours until I can go to the gym!"

Now, that's a HUGE NSV for me! Who ever thought that this chubster would be using The Gym as a reward/comfort/coping mechanism? lol!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Sweaty Sunday

Got my sweat on. How about you?

The Gym

Just did my first gym workout. It was cut a little short because Mr Man wanted me to meet him for supper at our fave Bbq joint. (If ya'll are ever in southern MN and want a great place to eat, hit me up and I'll let you know exactly where you should go!)

Anyhow, got 45 minutes on the treadmill before I had to leave. Now I'm waiting at his work for him to get out and then we'll enjoy orgasmically good bbq before I head back to the gym for another hour. I LOVE it there!

~TFB~

So Confused....

Morning Weight 271.6
-1.8 lbs from yesterday
-6.6 lb weight loss total

Sooooo.... No idea how that happened. I cheated beyond cheating on my Faux Band yesterday and I didn't exercise. I should have gained today. Yesterday, when I should have lost, I gained. I'm so confused....

What the...?!?!

Morning weight 273.4 lbs
+.9 lbs from yesterday (what the heck?!?!)
-4.8 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 15 minute brisk walk

Breakfast
1 scoop Unjury
2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Western Omelette Croissant
Calories 540
Protein 48g


Lunch
1/2 Super Thin Crust Pepperoni Pizza (<---Why, oh WHY?)
12 oz Light Beer
Calories 790
Protein 31g


Dinner
Brat Burger w/Bun & Ketchup
1/2 c Baked Beans
Calories 530
Protein 27g

Grand Total

Calories 1860

Protein 106g

Uuuuugggghhhhhh! What the heck?!?!? I did everything right yesterday and I woke up with a gain of almost a freaking pound?!?! I have no idea where that came from. I was within my calories, went for a longer walk than usual, drank all my water... Any of ya'll ever have that happen? That sent me into a bit of a tailspin. Breakfast wasn't too horrible, considering it took me 2 hours to eat it, but then lunch happened... Went out to celebrate a friend's promotion and I ate half of a freaking pizza! And then I threw a beer on top of it! Grrrr! Sooooo ridiculously mad at myself about that! The 1/2 pizza I consumed was 680 calories! That's almost half of my maximum daily intake! 

It took me the rest of the afternoon to get myself back under control and mentally in the game again. By the time I got home from work I was back where I needed to be again. Prepared to eat just a light, healthy snackish type dinner and just drink a bunch of Powerade Zero and water to keep me full. I was going to go for a nice LOOOOOONNNNGGGG walk. I was going to go to bed early, too. I even got my key fob from The Gym today!  It was going to be a great ending to what started out as a crappy day in Faux Band Land. 

Theeeeennnnn... I actually got home.

My MIL called inviting Mr Man and I over for supper. Of course I said "YES!" I love hanging with my in-laws. MM got home and we headed up to their house. No sooner had we walked in the door than I heard the words "cheese-stuffed brat-burgers". My heart hit the floor and I think I may have passed out momentarily because the next thing I knew someone was handing me a plate with this cheesey-greasy-sonotgoodforme burger on a bun with baked beans on the side. The only "veggie" I could scrounge up was a  crispy piece of ice-burg lettuce. I refrained from the mayo, ketchup, and extra cheese (oh lordie!) that was being passed around. I just doused it in mustard (I honestly do love me some mustard) and tried to eat as little of the bun as possible. 

After our meal we sat around and chatted for the longest time before a few of MM's friends showed up with beer to go out and work on equipment. Normally I would be right there with them and watching the eye candy and snarfing a few beers, but I just couldn't do it. I felt like crap, I was super tired (not sure if it was really physically or mentally), and all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed. So, I kissed MM good night and walked/jogged back home (we live really close to our in-laws). At least that gave me some exercise, right? Now I'm writing this and vowing that no matter what the scale says I've gained tomorrow, I'm going to do AWESOME! I am setting my alarm for earlier in the morning so I can get up and go to The Gym to use my new membership key and I am making good food choices. I am going to get back on track with smaller portions and healthier food choices. Positive thinking! No dwelling! I WILL DO THIS!

Fake it til you make it!

~TFB~

Pain Comes in Twos...

Morning weight 272.5
-.1 lbs from yesterday
-5.7 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 1 hour brisk walk with papa puppers

Breakfast
1 scoop Unjury powder
2 c light vanilla soy milk
Calories 220
Protein 32g


Lunch
Chicken Fried Rice
1/4 c baby peas
Calories 570
Protein 18g


Dinner
Spicy Baked Chicken Breast
Marinara Sauce
1/2 slice garlic bread
Calories 460
Protein 21g


Workout Reward
1 Dole Fruit Bar Ice Pop - Coconut (<---obsessed with Coconut!)
Calories 40
Protein 2g

Grand Total

Calories 1290

Protein 73g

I keep marveling at how much my stomach has shrunk since I adopted the Lap Band Lifestyle. It doesn't take much to get me full now. If the total portion size is more than a cup it takes me a half hour to forty-five minutes to eat my meal- and even then I'm sometimes uncomfortable. Even knowing that, and marveling out loud about it on a regular basis, I still did the unthinkable today. I guzzled a soda. Now, I don't normally drink soda. I actually don't like it very much. I don't like the sweetness of it and I really don't like the syrupy feeling left in my mouth whether I drink diet or regular. But I crave carbonation. I crave it like a duck craves a pond. It is my all. My everything. I have no idea why I have such an obsession with it, but I do. Normally my house is stocked to the rafters with seltzer water (plain, unflavored, please), but I was out. And I was definitely going to die unless I had something fizzy to drink, so I grabbed one of Mr Man's stevia sodas (they actually don't taste too bad and have 0 cals in them), and I chugged (how chubster of me) about half of one before it hit me- this overwhelming, absolute pain in my stomach. I had just done two things that I know I shouldn't do:

#1- I chugged something (i.e. I snarfed a soda)

#2- That something that I chugged was bigger than my normal portion size

Not only had I done both of those things, but this soda was extremely carbonated. And the carbonation, combined with the overfilling of my stomach at warp speed resulted in one- make that two- things. 

#1- I was in an excruciating amount of pain

#2- I got to experience something that I thought I never would when I chose to adopt the Lap band Lifestyle versus actually getting the band... I PB'd. Well, at least I think that's what I did...

I burped. The carbonation had to come out somehow- but the soda came out with it. Twice. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't fun. It hurt my stomach when it was in it, and it hurt my esophagus when it came back up. Between burps, I also had the opportunity to marvel at the human body's ability to produce gallons of saliva in mere seconds. Glamorous, huh? 

Once I was sure it was over, I very slowly sipped a small amount of tepid water and took papa puppers out for our daily walk. I felt slightly weak, though. Is that normal? Now I'm sitting here typing this blog entry and licking a popsicle. Slow. Small amounts. No chugging. No snarfing. I promise I've learned my lesson on this one. Never again!

For those of you with the Band- is that what PB'ing is? Or am I completely off track? Has this happened to anyone else without a Band?

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

5 POUNDS!

Morning weight 272.6 lbs
-.8 lbs from yesterday
-5.6 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 2 mile walk in nasty cold windy rainy weather. Bleck!

Breakfast
1 scoop Unjury
2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Western Omelette Croissant
Calories 500
Protein 41g


Lunch
1 Slice Deli Turkey
1 Slice Deli Ham
1 Slice Deli Roast Beef (I majorly <3 this roast beef. It might be dangerous if I brought any home, though)
1 oz Pepperjack Cheese
1/4 c Tropical Fruit
1/4 c Gardetto's
Handful of carrots, celery, broccoli, and grape tomatoes
Calories 200
Protein 20g


Dinner
3 Oyster Chicken Wings (<--- orgasm in your mouth)
2 Pork & Shrimp Vietnamese Summer Rolls (My fave Vietnamese place again!)
1 c Pho Delight (can you tell I'm obsessed with this place?)
Calories 563
Protein 35g

Grand Total

Calories 1263

Protein 88g

I did it!!!!!!!!!!!! I hit the first 5 pounds lost! You have no idea how ramped I am to get my nails done. Although, I do think I'm going to wait to actually go in until next week since I have a wedding that weekend. Still, I'm super excited about it and that's going to help keep me motivated throughout the week to lose more. I'm excited for more rewards. (Can you tell that mentally I'm actually only 5 years old? lol)

This morning was spent in preparation for an all day torture session meeting. I know that the foods provided at said torture sessions meetings are generally not weight loss friendly. (In fact, I sometimes wonder if they are trying to fatten us up... hmmm... Anyhow, back to what I was talking about.) So, in preparation I made my Unjury shake to take to the meeting, grabbed three bottles of water, and ate an extremely delicious veggie western omelette sandwich for breakfast before leaving to head to my doom appointment. I brought the shake and the water along to sip on as the meeting progressed so I wouldn't be ravenous by the time they wheeled the food cart out with all of its bready, starchy, cheesey, buttery, mayo-y, whatever-y goodness. It helped me avoid munching on the candy sitting on my table the entire 8 1/2 hours! So, I'd say it worked! :)

By the time we broke for lunch, I wasn't really very hungry. It also turns out that is was a semi-ok meal for once. (I mean, the food is always SUPER delicious- but this was actually approaching navigable for people trying not to become even bigger chubsters). Turns out we had a build-your-own cold cut tray full of yummy meats and cheeses, veggies, fruits, and lots of water. I skipped over the bun and condiments, grabbed a slice of each of the meats that appealed to me (I'm sorry, but organic or not, bologna is still not high on my faves list), a couple slices of the pepperjack cheese, a handful of the veggies, a small scoop of the mixed fruit, and a half handful of the random Gardetto's (<---huge weakness of mine) that were on the table. And you know what? I ate it slowly, I enjoyed all of the yumminess on my plate, and at the end I was satisfied and didn't feel the least bit deprived. Go me! 

After the torture session meeting (can you tell I'm not a huge fan of them?), I had heard about and discussed enough about food and policies and laws and regulations and everything of that nature that I didn't want a pot nor a pan within 100 ft of me. So, called Mr Man and we met up at our favorite Vietnamese place after he got done with work. It's quickly becoming our favorite "diet" place as well. Pho is low cal, very filling, high protein, and just all around yummy! Not to mention the fact that they also have a lot of stir fry options if we aren't feeling in the mood for soup. Their stir fry options are almost endless and most of them don't have anything even close to resembling breaded, fried, or noodles or rice on the plate (all right, they do serve white rice on the side, but we always just ask them not to bring it out). Portions big enough to satisfy MM's appetite (not being able to really eat was his largest worry about watching calories) and plenty of to-go box/cup options for me! I big puffy paint <3 Vietnamese food!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Fudge Pops

Morning weight 273.4
-.1 lbs from yesterday
-4.8 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 30 minute walk with the puppers before Mr Man called to say he was almost home and wanted to go for a walk, too. So, we walked home, waited for him, then went out for another 45 minutes. We make an adorable family. Mom, Dad, and the puppers kids.

Breakfast
1 scoop Unjury Vanilla
2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Calories 220
Protein 32g


Lunch
Organic Chicken Corn Dogs
Ketchup
Mustard
Calories 580
Protein 20g


Dinner
Bacon Mac N Cheese (made by yours truly with our very own bacon- yum!)
1 oz Mozzarella Fresca
Calories 531
Protein 27g


A Sweet Snack
Fudgesicle (I <3 these things!)
Calories 40
Protein 2g

Grand Total

Calories 1371

Protein 81g

Nothing too exciting in the world of the faux band today other than I have my gym membership now (well, I will have it once I get my access card in the mail). Oh- and the babies have their eyes open now! Papa is one proud puppers! The liver and whites are starting to look more and more like him every day. :)

I'm also proud to report that MM is getting more and more into this weight loss dealio. He's starting to really go hard core on it. It's awesome to have that kind of support! In honor of our walk we're each having a fudgesicle. And you know what? Neither one of us feels the least bit guilty about it- and we don't have any reason to be!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

I D-I-D It!!!!

I finally did something I've been meaning to do for a very long time. A V...E...R...Y long time. It's something I've wanted to desperately do, because I'm weirder than a 3-legged duck and I actually enjoy it. Finances were a little in the way, but the truth of the matter is I have been putting it off because that means I would have to sit down with someone and have a meeting and sign paperwork and see people and talk and be social. I don't want to do that after work hours. Unless it involves a bonfire and/or beer. But I am the queen of all social avoidance when I want to be, and I found a way around it all. I rock!

So, I suppose ya'll are wondering what I did? I joined a gym. Not just any gym. A 24 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year gym. One that being a member of grants me access to not only that gym, but any other gym of the same name. There are almost 2000 locations across the nation. There is one a mile away from my work if I were to turn that way. There is another one on my way home from work. And there is yet another in the small town close to where we live. I also happen to know that there are 10 between our home and my dad's place as well as one in the town close to where he lives and one in the town that I used to work in when I lived up there. No... more... excuses...! No matter where I am, I can work out. In a gym. Which I actually immensely enjoy. Maybe it's because we don't have a tv at home and that's the only place I can watch it? Maybe it's because I get more mentally "into" it because you're surrounded by fitness equipment and people doing the same thing as you? Maybe because any exercise I do outside feels like work on the farm and a treadmill is actually a nice break for me? I don't know. But I do know that I <3 gyms and I'm super excited to belong to one again. I honestly haven't had a gym membership since very early on in my chubster years.

The biggest obstacle to me actually joining this gym was that they won't just let you go online and buy a membership and show up. You have to go there and meet with them and get a tour and sign some papers... blah blah blah... I don't want to do that! I just want to work out! I even called and asked if I could just give them my credit card over the phone. They said no. But I'm persistent and I found a way around it. The local radio station does an on-air auction every few weeks and there are some items you can view online and purchase outright at a huge discount. Just so happens I was curious and took a look. Lo and behold- there was THE GYM! A one-year membership for half the price. Wa-hoo! My credit card came out quicker than you can say "Cash or credit?" and it was MINE! It was meant to be, too. Cuz I got the last one! Now I just have to wait for them to mail me my membership package and I'll be hitting the gym every day after work. :)

Fake it til you make it!
~The Faux Bandit~

Back to Reality

Morning weight 273.5
-.1 lbs from yesterday
-4.7 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: I failed. None this day.

Breakfast
1 scoop Unjury Vanilla
1 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Western Omelette Croissant
Calories 500
Protein 41g


Lunch
Chicken Strips
1 Tbsp Honey Mustard
Calories 420
Protein 27g


Dinner
Giant BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich (made with our very own pork! yum!)
Calories 470
Protein 32g

Grand Total

Calories 1390

Protein 100g (holy cow! I'm getting good at this protein thing!)

After all of the fun this past weekend, it was kind of a let down to go back to the ho-hum of reality today. It was an even bigger pain in my side to go to work knowing that almost everyone else had the day off. As I was headed out the door for work MM was still snoring away. Poo! (Yes, I'm having a mini pity party for myself... ok, I'm better now) That being said, it was probably the best thing for me. It meant I couldn't sit around and be lazy all day and snarf my face on picnic leftovers (which I'm supremely grateful are still mercifully in my mother-in-law's possession).

Nothing too incredibly exciting happened today. I went to work. It was insanely slow because everyone was out enjoying the beautiful weather and hanging out with people and having a good time (ok... maybe I'm not quite over my pity party yet... lol). Then I came home and took a short nap (I only got 4 hours of sleep last night) before wandering up to the machine shed where Mr Man and about half my in-laws were hanging out with some friends working on the two new pulling tractors (yes- we are so supremely redneck it's not even funny). Somehow, someway, MM convinced me that today was the day I was going to learn how to drive a tractor. I know I'm a farmer's wife. I know that I'm expected to know how to do that, but I had made myself expressly clear before we were married that machinery was not my thing. I'll help with anything else- I'll slop pigs, I'll muck out barns, throw bales, feed cattle- anything that does not involve equipment. It intimidates me. I'm scared of it. I don't have any desire to learn how. Yet, somehow he got me to agree to it (and I swear there was no alcohol involved!). Not only did he convince me that I needed to learn, but somehow I wound up learning on his pulling tractor (i.e. not your average field tractor. Difficulty quotient is much higher- as is the likelihood I will injure either myself or others while operating said machinery).

Miracle of all miracles I managed to not kill anyone (including myself) and I didn't break anything. Granted, I only drove it around for like 10 minutes and the only gears I engaged were 1st, reverse, and neutral, but still! The only problem now is that since MM has accomplished getting me up on one and driving it, now he wants me to learn how to pull one. I sense many intense arguments in our future revolving around a tractor... *sigh*

Fake it til you make it!
~The Faux Bandit~

Fun in the Sun

Morning weight 273.6
-.6 lbs from yesterday
-4.6 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: Swimming with the in-laws and my niece and nephew :) (I big puffy paint <3 those kids!) and darts with my league team

Breakfast
1 Scoop Unjury Vanilla
2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Calories 220
Protein 32g


Lunch
1 c mixed tropical fruit salad (mangos, blueberries, kiwis, pineapple & grapes)
Homemade Caprese Salad
Hamburger w/half a bun
Calories 497
Protein 22g


Dinner
1 c Light Potato & Egg Salad
Hot Dog w/Bun
1/2 c grapes
1 tiny slice pound cake
Calories 625
Protein 23g

Grand Total

Calories 1342

Protein 77g

Today was absolutely amazing! Ya'll have no idea how much I #1- love my niece and nephews and #2- love swimming. It's always a blast hanging out with my in-laws and when you throw bochee ball, swimming, chatting, a state park, and picnics into the mix... well, let's just say this girl is in complete heaven!

I knew there was going to be a crapload lot of food today, so I made sure to have my Unjury for breakfast. I stayed majorly full until it was time to eat at the park. I also knew we were going to stay there for most of the day, so I made two "meals" out of it. I ate half of what I wanted for the first meal, went swimming, and 3 hours later I dug my second "meal" out of the cooler and relaxed and dried off. It was perfect! 

I do have to give a huge shout out to my in-laws and Mr Man, though. Without them, I would have probably been majorly struggling today. First of all, there is MM's contribution: he helped to remind me that I needed to make food he and I could eat to bring with for our dish(es) to share. Normally I do bacon wrapped. cream cheese stuffed jalapenos and then a cashew chicken salad. NOT calorie counting choices- believe you me! So, instead, I modified my fruit "salsa" recipe by not dicing the fruit so small so it was more of a fruit salad (minus the fluff and stuff) and brought pound cake sliced uber thin and fat free whipped cream to make a healthy version of a fruit shortcake (everyone LOVED it!). I also made a caprese salad, but instead of loading it up with olive oil like you traditionally do, I marinated the mozzarella with a tiny bit of extra virgin, fresh basil oregano and garlic for 48 hours in advance, then drained the oil and tossed them in with the grape tomatoes, some roasted garlic, salt, and pepper. (I actually think I liked it better than traditional!) I also brought a big bag of grapes with so MM and I could snack on those instead of the chips and crackers that I knew would abound.

Second shout out has to go to the in-laws. We had two different tables set up for everyone to sit at (there were a lot of us) and they always set the snacky foods (read: chips) on the center of the tables for everyone to munch on. Well, they had MM and I with the kids at one table and they put the grapes and good munchies on ours and kept the chips over on the other table. Temptation removed! And an added bonus is that I got to munch on mangos with the little ones (they'd never had it before) and they LOVED it! In fact, later on one of my brother-in-laws offered my niece some chips and she refused- she wanted some more of "that good orange fruit Auntie K brought"! Who would have ever thought this chubster would be teaching kids healthy eating habits?!?! HUGE OSV (off-scale victory!)

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Lazy Saturday

Current weight: 274.2
-.7 lbs from yesterday
-4.0 lbs weight loss total (only 1 lb more to go until my mani/pedi reward!)

Exercise: Saturday morning rendezvous (TMI, I know- but it counts!) and darts with my league team

Breakfast
1/4 container Sabra Greek Olive Hummus (I fluffy <3 this hummus!)
14 Multigrain Pita Chips
Calories 385
Protein 10g


Lunch
Mushroom, Leek, Egg, and Parmesan Omelette
Calories 185
Protein 12g


Mid-Afternoon Hunger Attack
1 scoop Unjury Vanilla
1 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
Calories 160
Protein 26g


Dinner
Pho Dac Biet
Oyster Wings
Vietnamese Summer Rolls
Calories 686
Protein 54g

Grand Total

Calories 1416

Protein 102g (oh my!)

Mr Man and I slept in this morning. I was planning to go for a walk before the rain was scheduled to hit, but it seems the storm moved in early because I woke up to it pouring. So, MM and I improvised. (And now I've scared away the few followers I have... lol!) I just wanted ya'll to know that neither he or I completely ditched out on exercise. ;)

Because we slept in so late, neither one of us was all that hungry when we crawled out of bed, so we just shared a dish of hummus and some pita chips before MM took off to the shed to work on a tractor (normally I'd follow that sexy sight and sit on a tire and watch the eye candy- but again, it was raining, and cold, so I declined) and I stayed home to get caught up on some work (namely the article I'm supposed to have turned in by this morning for the magazine... oops!). A little while later I decided to finish using up the organic cremini mushrooms I had been gifted and made myself a little mini one egg "omelette". It was D-E-LISH! There is something about mushrooms and Parmesan cheese I can't resist. 

I finished my article and emailed it to my editor it seems just as she was emailing me to chew my rear end, because no sooner than I had pressed "send" then a new email popped into my inbox from her irate and wondering where in the world that article was. Oops!

After that I decided that there was no better thing for supper than some orgasmically extremely good food at the Vietnamese place in town. It's SO good! Pho, oyster wingss, and summer rolls... Oh! The summer rolls... They are TO DIE FOR! Authentic, real, fresh, yummy... The crisp lettuce, fresh herbs, chewy rice paper, yummy rice noodles, shrimp, pork... *sigh* The only- and I mean ONLY- downfall to those is that they are served with satan's secret weapon a peanut dipping sauce. I could drink bowls of that stuff. So not what my waistline needs right now, so I opted instead for fish sauce- which I also find extremely yummy. You know what? I didn't miss it! When I placed my order I just requested the fish sauce instead of the peanut sauce, and ta-da! Out of sight, out of mind! I know if the peanut sauce were to have been on my table I would have used it- but since it wasn't, the fish sauce did an amazing job subbing in and I didn't feel one teeny tiny yellow polka dot bikini's bit of regret or deprived. I actually think I like the summer rolls better with the fish sauce. I'm just obsessed with peanut butter (aka the reason why the dreamy stuff isn't in my house) so I tend to over do it. 

That being said, both MM and I are actually quite pleasantly surprised at how creative our minds have gotten at this calorie game we're now playing together. Because he and I are doing it together now, it makes it a quadrillion times much easier to go out to eat and even cook dinner at home- because we're on the same wavelength! Since we're both trying to avoid the same things I'm not cooking two different meals or feeling deprived because I can't have what's on his plate and in front of me, in my house. Now, we're eating the same things, just two different portion sizes (let's be real #1- he's a guy and they get to eat more because the calorie/metabolism gods have deemed it thus, and #2- He's not trying to be as restrictive as I am with the calories because he doesn't care about losing the weight as much/as quickly and he's not following a banded lifestyle, just less junk food basically). Now, when we go out to eat, if we see something on the menu that we're both craving (usually an appetizer or dessert) we ask for a small portion of it (i.e. the oyster wings we had for supper normally come in a 8 wing serving. We asked for a half order and the restaurant was more than accommodating) and split it. That means he and I only had 2 wings a piece instead of the usual 4. Half the calories, all of the satisfaction of eating the "forbidden" food and being able to finish what was on our plates (at least for the appetizer). Then, by the time our main courses come out our minds and bodies are already staring to signal each other that there is food in our stomachs. We get full so much quicker now! We always bring leftovers home. We never brought leftovers home before. In fact, we were the people that would make 4-5 trips up to the buffet line when we went out for Chinese! Now I usually eat about a cup of food before my body signals I'm satisfied. He gets to about 2 cups. That's a far cry from 5 (mounded) plates!

So excited to have him on this journey with me! And super excited to get my nails done! Hurray! It's almost time! :)

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

The Flu and Dancing and Food, Oh My!

Current Weight: 274.9
-?? lbs from yesterday
-3.3 lbs weight loss total

Breakfast
2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
1 scoop Unjury Chocolate Splendor
(This "meal" took me 2 hours to drink! It tastes great, but it's SO filling!)
Calories 220
Protein 32g


Lunch
8 oz Vegetable Beef Soup
Chocolate Splendor Unjury "Shake" w/banana (I basically made the same thing as I had for breakfast, only I added ice and a banana to treat myself to a dessert I knew I would savor! It was YUMMY!)
Calories 440
Protein 40g


Dinner
Corn Dogs (I splurged)
Calories 560
Protein 20g

Grand Total

Calories 1220

Protein 92g (Holy Cows!)

Let me start off by apologizing to everyone who has been visiting my page the last few days to find absolutely nothing on it. It's been a while since I've been on here. I am happy to inform you that it is not because I have given up or fallen off the bandwagon. It's been because I've been unable to sit upright and still keep down food for about 4 days now. Today was my first "normal" day. Back at work. Back to the grind. Back to losing. :)

It's been an eventful week. I had a great weekend. Saturday was filled with both sides of the family and lots of fun. Sunday was a lazy morning followed by Mr Man accompanying me to a coworker's wedding. We had a great time! Food choices were hard. The menu consisted of rolls, ham, turkey breast, wild rice, fruit salad (the surrounded by whipped cream so not good for you kind), herb potatoes, mixed veggies, and cake. Lots and lots of cake (six different flavors!). I took a small slice of both meats, about a 1/4 c of the wild rice, 1/2 c of the veg, 1/4 c of the potatoes, and skipped the rest. No rolls, No fruit fluff. NO CAKE! They were even tiny pieces. I probably could have justified it, but I instead opted for a drink and a ton of dancing. Oh! Did we ever dance! Ironically, I think I knew more of the guests at that wedding than I did at my own. I danced with my husband for quite a few numbers and couldn't resist a hundred few turns around the dance floor with several of my coworkers. We all had a blast! In fact, the bride, groom, myself, my coworkers, and Mr Man closed the place down. We danced until they kicked us out! I have to admit that is something that has never happened to me before! Kind of a big off scale victory for me!

That was the end of my fun, though. I woke up Monday morning absolutely feeling like death warmed over miserable. Went to work, but only lasted 2 hours. There was no way I could be around food that day. Got home and immediately ran to the bathroom. I had the flu. And I had it bad. It only got worse over the next 24 hours. Nothing would stay down. I kept trying, so I can't tell you how many calories I consumed over the last few days because it all came right back up (sorry, TMI, I know). On top of that, Aunt Flo came a calling. The Flu and Flo. It was a glorious week (note: sarcasm). My fuzzy slippers, bed, and bathroom became my new best friends.

That it over now (thank you!). And I can finally get back on track with losing. On a positive note, there is nothing like the flu to make you lose weight at a record pace. I weighed myself out of curiosity Thursday morning and I was at 272 lbs. I know it was because I was dehydrated (majorly) and hadn't really absorbed anything I was eating, but it was kinda nice seeing that number on the scale. Then, yesterday as soon as I was able to keep anything down I started snarfing my face on everything (I was SO hungry!) and rehydrating. That brought the number up super quick again. Oh well. Back to square one and onward!

Fake it til you make it!
~The Faux Bandit~

Day Eight

Morning Weight: 275.0
-.8 lbs from yesterday
-3.2 lbs weight loss total!

Breakfast
2 Mini Crustless Sausage & Tomato Quiches
Calories 215
Protein 14g


Lunch
1/2 of a Rotisserie Chicken, Bleu Cheese, and Balsamic Wrap on a Honey Wheat Tortilla (best wrap of my life!)
3/4 c Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Calories 602
Protein 29g


Dinner
Pork Chop on a Stick (tractor pull food- it was delicious!)
Small Caprese Salad (be still my heart!)
Calories 438
Protein 56g (yay for lean pork and mozzarella!)


Snack
Half Handful Salted, In-Shell Peanuts
Calories 64
Protein 6g

Grand Total

Calories 1319

Protein 105g! (wahoo!)

Well, I managed to navigate (successfully) the land-mines known as festival and tractor pull foods. I have to say that a HUGE part of my ability to do that is directly related to Mr Man's decision to join me on my journey! (Can I tell you that words cannot describe how happy I am to have his support?!?!). Since he's watching his calorie intake along with me now, it's much easier to say "no" to that slice of pizza or that cocktail (as tempting as it was at lunch) or dessert now that I have someone else also saying no to it. (That, and the guilt factor of the other person watching you snarf it down is kind of a deterrent as well... lol!).

Earlier in the day, Mr Man and I went up to hell the cities to see my sister's exhibit at a huge art festival. (I gloated a bit about it here). There were a lot of amazing artists (I actually found a couple of water colors that I really wanted to bring home. The price tag told me I might have to make one of them a weight milestone goal reward... They were a bit pricey- although totally worth it!), and a sweet Lego exhibit that MM was enthralled with. We managed to wait until after the festival to grab a bite to eat (although there were a lot of temptations along the way. Read: candy bowls, free cookies, etc)

My sister's exhibit was not exactly what I expected. It honestly didn't show case any of her amazing pieces. What it actually was is kind of hard to describe. She and a few of her friends transformed an entire space into something that can only be described as an expression of what they viewed a post-society-collapse/post-apocalyptic artist community would look like (does that make any sense?). It was basically their way of stating that art is important. It is part of who we all are- and even if society collapses, people will still create, still express themselves, still make art. 

My description is totally random, and doesn't do it justice. I'll post some pictures up later. Not sure the pics do it justice, either, but at least you'll get to see some sweet looking stuff. :)

After the festival, MM and I stopped in at my mother's greenhouse. Picked up a gazillion tomato, pepper, egg plant, and herb plants. SUPER excited about those! Then we wound up driving a ways to see one of my brother-in-laws compete in a tractor pull. I married into a family of tractor pullers. By that I mean they all pull. My husband, 3 of the 4 brother-on-laws (the fourth one will, he's just too young), my father-in-law, mother-in-law, and one of the sister-in-laws. They all pull. It's a disease. One for which there is no cure (if you find one, PLEASE let me know!). I don't pull, and they all think that I'm the crazy one...

Anyhow, MM and I managed (through totally leaning on each other) to escape the temptations of the cheese curd, nacho, hot dog, cheeseburger, cotton candy, funnel cake, and corn dog vendors. Instead, He finished the rest of the leftovers from lunch (off scale victory alert! Neither one of us finished what was on our plates at lunch!) and I grabbed a nice lean, grilled pork chop and a mini caprese salad (being sold by the deep-fried cheese stand of all places). The rest of the night we chugged our water/Powerade Zeros and when I got "hungry" again later in the night, stole a tiny handful of salted in-shell peanuts from one of the BIL's.

All in all, super proud of both of our successes! Now let's see if we can survive our next challenge: SUNDAY - Omelette Breakfast (Read: whatever crap I want to put into as many eggs as I want, along with hashbrown, cheese sauce, toast, jelly, butter, juice, milk... ugh!) and a WEDDING DINNER... (I'm pretty confident about the breakfast... no clue as to even what they are serving at the reception... wish me luck!)

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Rewarding Myself

I've decided to write down rewards for every weight loss milestone I reach. I'm hoping that way, when I'm losing sight of why I'm doing this and my motivation has taken an inconvenient three week vacation to the Bahamas, I can look at this list and remember that I have short term rewards and something to work toward. :)

• 5 Pounds Lost
• Mani/Pedi! (Yay! I almost never treat myself to these anymore. Used to get them all the time. Wonder why I stopped?)
• 10 Pounds Lost
• Hair cut (I need one... bad!)
• 25 Pounds Lost
• New work outfit
• 50 Pounds Lost
• Sushi dinner date night with Mr Man (I <3 sushi! We actually have a really good sushi place in the town near us. Their Unagi rolls are to die for. I'll have to limit how many of those I snarf, though. Looked it up and their 80 calories a piece! High protein, though...)
• 79 Pounds Lost
• Giving myself $250 and hitting the mall for some new clothes (I'll have officially hit one-derland!)
• 100 Pounds Lost
• Driving 3+ hours to where I used to live and treating myself to a cut, color, and style with the stylist I used to have before I moved. (My hair hasn't been the same since it lost his magic touch. If you're reading this, Will, both myself and my hair miss you more than words can express!)
• 125 Pounds Lost
• Total spa day. Mani/Pedi. Facial. Hour long hot stone massage. Who knows what else...? (Might combine with the next reward)
• 131 Pounds Lost (GOAL WEIGHT!)
• Mr Man and I will be going on a second honeymoon. Not sure where, but it will be AWESOME! (Vegas? Cruise? Aruba? Australia? Taking suggestions!)

Can't wait to start treating myself (and Mr Man) to some of these! Are you losing? Do you have any rewards lined up and waiting for you? I'd love to hear about them! How about those of ya'll who have already reached their goal? Any good ones from you?

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Day Seven

Morning Weight: 275.8
-.2 lbs from Yesterday
-2.4 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 2 mile walk with the new proud papa puppers!

Breakfast
2 Cheese Breadsticks
Calories 440
Protein 24g


Lunch
8oz Beer Cheese Soup
1 Mini Crustless Quiche
Calories 337
Protein 14g


Dinner
Turkey Burger
2 Slices Tomato
1/4 c ketchup
Bun
5 Strawberries
Calories 437
Protein 20g


Guilty Pleasure Other
1 Bottle Michelob Golden Light
Calories 110
Protein 1g

Grand Total

Calories 1324

Protein 59g (so close!)

I did MUCH better on my protein today and managed to stay in my calorie allotment! Yay! It's the small victories- right? Today went much smoother for me all around (maybe cuz it's Friday?). I almost got all of my protein in, drank all 100 oz of water (peed about every 5 minutes to prove it... lol!), stayed in my calorie goal range, AND I went out to play darts with my team (hence the Mich Light). 

Yeah... I've got a confession to make... I'm a total chubster stereotype and am on a Dart League... Gotta say that I really love it, though. Gets me out of the house among other people (gasp!), I get to socialize in a non-food setting, and I'm not sitting on my duff snarfing ding dongs in front of the tv watching Opra reruns. (Not that I'd be doing that anyway. I hate ding dongs and we don't have a tv. It just sounds good to say that's I would be doing if I wasn't being a chubster stereotype). 

Tomorrow Mr Man and I are off to my worst nightmare the cities to an art festival that my sister has an exhibit in. (Read: Lots of people. I like my wide open country with no people. Why else do I live on a farm? Panic attacks may ensue). She's totally worth facing my fears and being social, though. Cuz she rocks, first of all, and because her artwork is A-MA-ZING second of all. If I can calm my heart and slow down my breathing long enough to prevent the panic from making my hands shake I'll get a few pics up here for ya'll to see. 

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

P.S. I totally figured out my "how to deal with this hunger thing when it isn't time for dinner yet" solution. I don't usually get hungry between breakfast and lunch, but for some reason that span of time between lunch and dinner kills me on occasion. Today when I got in the door from work my brain was telling me my stomach NEEDED FOOD NOW! But it wasn't supper time yet. Then it hit me- I was TIRED and THIRSTY. My brain was sending me signals to get food into my stomach in hopes of getting a jolt of blood sugar for energy and some liquid from said food. So, I drank a Powerade Zero and allowed myself the luxury of a half hour nap. Totally worked! I woke up with zero hunger pains and wasn't truly hungry until 2 hours later! Voila! Somewhere along this journey I'm learning to actually listen and correctly interpret my body's language. I'm liking it!

I'm a Grandma!!!!

Would you like to see a picture of my new grandbabies?

7 total. 6 females. 1 boy. Nothing is cuter, in my opinion, than baby German Shorthair puppies! Can't wait to see these little ones out in the field!

Now, if ya'll will excuse me, I'm going to go take the new papa for a walk. :)

~The Faux Bandit~

AKA Grandma!

Day Six

Morning Weight: 276.0
-1.0 lbs from yesterday
-2.2 lb weight loss total

Exercise: 2 mile walk (no puppers this time... *sad*)

Breakfast
Mini Western Omelette
1 Slice Tomato
1 Slice Deli Ham
1 Slice Cheddar
Calories 146
Protein 10.6g


Brunch
2 Individual Sausage, Tomato, & Leek Crustless Quiches
Calories 215
Protein 14g


Lunch
1/2 c Olive Hummus (I majorly <3 hummus!)
14 Multigrain Pita Chips
Calories 568
Protein 15g


Dinner
Cremini Mushrooms in Mustard Pan Sauce
Calories 159
Protein 10g

Grand Total

Calories 1088

Protein 49g

My day started at 4 am and didn't end until 11 pm (hence the 4 meals). I've definitely found my "go-to" breakfast. It keeps me full for a very long time (after I have it I don't feel hungry again for about 4 hours). I seriously need to get my protein count up, though. That should be remedied soon. I've got my UNJURY protein powders ordered! Should be here Monday. I ordered a Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla, and Unflavored. I'm thinking that I probably should have ordered 2 of the Unflavored, so I could mix it in more of my foods, but I guess we'll have to see how it goes. I can always order more, right? (I mean, what kind of girl would I be if I didn't enjoy a little spending? lol!)

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Day Five

Morning Weight: 277
+.2 lbs from yesterday
-1.2 lbs weight loss total

Exercise: 3.5 mile walk with two very happy puppers.

Breakfast
Mini Western Omelette
1 Slice Cheese
1 Slice Deli Ham
1 Slice Tomato
Calories 146
Protein 10.8


Lunch
1 Slice Baker's Square Strawberry Hawaiian Pie (In my defense they put it in my fridge at work and no one would eat it for me)
Calories 480
Protein ???


Dinner
Veggie Burger
1/2 c Olive Hummus
9 Multigrain pita chips
Bosc Pear
Calories 816
Protein 22.6

Grand Total

Calories 1442

Protein 33.4+???

Ok. The pie has left the building. I forced the rest of it on someone else. I put it in her arms, followed her to get her things, and escorted her (with the pie) to the door. I saw her get into her car with said pie. I should be safe now. I'm not normally a sweets person, but that pie was incredible! That aside, I didn't do too bad today. No real surprises for my calorie total. I need to up my protein intake, though. Going to order some protein shake stuff from UNJURY. It's the one my doc recommended if I was going to get the Lap Band (you have a full liquid diet for a while after surgery and then 24 hour liquids any time you get a fill/unfill with the band). So, since I'm living a banded lifestyle- I'd best go with the banded beverage. :)

Fake it til you make it!
~The Faux Bandit~

Day Four

Morning Weight 276.8
-1.2 bs from yesterday
-1.4 lbs weight loss total

Breakfast
1 c light vanilla soy milk
1 scoop Chocolate Meal Replacer
2 Hashbrown Sticks
2 Tbsp Ketchup
Calories 380
Protein 10g


Lunch
Slice of Baker's Square Strawberry Hawaiian Pie (1/8) (OH MY YUM!)
3 piece Chicken Strip
1 Tbsp Honey Mustard
1 Tbsp Ranch
Calories 903 (OUCH!)
Protein 23.1g


Dinner
Organic Buffalo Chicken Tenders
Natural Mashed Potatoes w/free range gravy
Organic Honey Mustard (1/4 c?)
Calories 662
Protein 35g

Grand Total

Calories 1945

Protein 68.1g

Well, the chicken strips helped me get my protein total for the day, but the Baker's Square Pie was the devil a surprise again. I supposed I should have taken note of the mass amounts of whipped cream on top, but in my defense I didn't know there was also a cream filling under those strawberries when I agreed to have a piece. *sigh* I'm honestly going to say it was worth it, though. That pie was DELICIOUS! Next time I'm going to ask if they're going to guilt me into dessert before I order my entree... lol!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Day Three

Morning Weight: 278.0
+.4 lbs from yesterday
-.2 lbs weight loss total

Breakfast
1 c light vanilla soy milk
1 scoop Chocolate Meal Replacement Powder
Calories 180
Protein 8g


Lunch
2 Hashbrown Sticks
Chef Salad
Fat Free Ranch Dressing
Calories 315
Protein 15


Dinner
1 Organic Hard boiled egg
1 cup Organic Honey Mustard Sweet Potato Salad w/Swiss Chard
1 Organic Red Bosc Pear
5 Organic Tortilla Chips
4 Tbsp Natural Sundried Tomato Hummus (I <3 Hummus!!!)
Calories 535
Protein 14.9

Grand Total

Calories 1030

37.9

Whoa! Surprise again! Knew I was going to gain after visiting hell the buffet yesterday for Mother's Day (per my MIL's request... thanks, ma... sheesh!) but what I'm really shocked about is that I totally thought my taste testing session for dinner was going to be MUCH higher calorie total. That's why I drank crap meal replacer for breakfast. I'll get this guessing game down eventually. I should eat more to get a few more calories and protein in, and I need to drink more water, but I'm too tired and am headed to bed. Night all!

P.S. For those of you who noticed the mass use of the word "Organic" in the dinner column and the phrase "taste testing session" in my notes it's because I write a food column for a newspaper that deals with organic, locally sourced, natural, and urban gardening/farming. One more reason that living a Banded Lifestyle versus actually getting the band made better sense for me. No getting stuck or PBing for me! Yay!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Day Two

Morning Weight: 277.6

-.6 lbs from yesterday

-.6 lbs total lost

Breakfast

Taco Bell Bean Burrito

2 Tbsp Ortega Taco Sauce

Calories 390

Protein 13g

Lunch

5 Ling Ling Vegetable Potstickers

1 Tbsp Thai Peanut Sauce

Calories 395

Protein 11.5g

Dinner

1/4 c Orange Chicken

2 Crab Rangoon

1 Chicken Egg Roll

1/4 c Chicken and Mushrooms

1/4 c Beef and Broccoli

1 c Vanilla Pudding

(Chinese buffet, can you tell?)

Calories 1333 (OUCH!)

Protein 86.6

Grand Total

Calories 2118 (Yikes!)

Protein 86.6g

Note to self: STAY AWAY FROM THE BUFFET! I tried to make good choices there, but my weakness for crab rangoon (one rangoon has 210 calories!) and egg rolls (200 calories in these) did me in. The calorie total would have been only 713 for that meal if I had just left those two items off my plate. (Still more calories than I needed, but live and learn... right?). I'm still learning what the calorie content is for a lot of foods. Hopefully I'll stop being surprised so much soon!

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~

Day One

Morning Weight: 278.2

Breakfast:
1/2 c Light Vanilla Soy Milk
1/2 c Rainsin Nut Bran (I <3 RNB!)
Calories: 155 
Protein: 5g

Lunch:
Hamburger w/bun
Skin on Hot Dog
1/4 c Ketchup (I also <3 ketchup)
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
Small slice white cake no frosting
Calories: 742
Proteing: 30.8g

Dinner:
Taco Bell Bean Burrito
Taco Bell Soft Taco, Beef
Taco Bell Hard Taco, Beef
Calories: 740
Protein: 66.8g

Grand Total

Calories 1637

Protein 66.8g

I went over on my calories today. Partly because I went to a birthday party, and partly because I honestly haven't really committed myself yet. Small victory would be that I didn't snarf any of the chips or candy at the party! :) 

~The Faux Bandit~

Hello World!

HELLO WORLD!

Those of you who know me also know that I have been a chubster for quite a few years now. I was a chubster kid up until late middle school. Then, somehow (I think it was the magic metabolism fairy that I apparently ticked off again later) I wound up a "skinny" girl until about my freshman/sophomore year of college.

Throughout these many past years as a chubster I have taken gargantuan amounts of pride in astonishing my doctors with my perfect health. Perfect BP (117/75), perfect heart rate (55 bpm), perfect cholesterol levels (can't think of my numbers off the top of my head), no diabetes, no insulin resistance. When nurses get me for the first time they always triple check my bp and heart rate because they don't believe the numbers. New doctors always want to screen me for diabetes or insulin resistance. I go along with it because I know that's what they are trained to look for in a chubster. 

That being said, I know that I can't go on this heavy for ever and ever, amen without some complications. So, I decided to do something about it:

 I decided to get a lap band. 

The reason I made that decision was because of my health problems- or really lack thereof. Over the years all of my doctors have come to the relatively similar conclusion that I'm overweight not because I sit on the sofa snarfing twinkies and buckets of fried chicken all day, but because I eat things like salad, hummus, veggie egg bakes, chicken breast, chicken soup, and fruit- but because I eat way too much of it.

So, I started researching my options. I didn't like the gastric bypass surgery, well, honestly, because I'm kinda attached to my digestive system. I mean, it's been with me for a long time. I also didn't like the fact that I would be stuck with said surgery for the rest of my life (read: commitment phobe)! So, when I came across the Lap Band procedure, I loved what I saw. It is done via laproscopic surgery (no huge scars), no removal of any body part is done, and the band itself can be removed! 

Being an extreme type-A personality when it comes to research, not only did I read every medical and informational article I could get my hands on, but then I moved on to reading blogs written about their experience and weight loss by people who have the Lap Band. Everything I read made me even more sure that I wanted this procedure. Especially this blog: Lap Band Gal! (SUPER awesome and 100% HONEST look at what it was like to get the band, lose with the band, and now maintain with the band.)

I read her blog from her first post all the way through what she's still blogging about today. Again, it made me 100% certain that I wanted this thing done. Then, about 3/4 of the way through her blog my brain did probably a 90 degree shift in its thought process. I decided I loved the Lap Band process SO much that I didn't want one! Or, at least not right now. You see, she was so honest and transparent about how much work it is to not only be a successful loser with the band, but how all it really amounts to is a tool. NOT the solution. 

So, I've decided to become a Faux Bandster. I will be following all of the rules and restrictions that I would have with the band, only without the surgery. 

What does that entail? 

• Keeping my calorie intake between 1200- 1400 calories a day. 
• Consuming 60g or more of protein every day. 
• Drinking 100 oz of water daily.
• Exercising 3-5x a week
• Keeping my portions to the size of a cup
• Chewing my food into oblivion
• 2-3 meals a day. NO snacks!
• Avoiding carbonated beverages.
• Avoiding refined flours/sugars
• Tracking/journaling my food
• No liquids for 60 minutes before or after eating
• Daily weigh-ins

I will be using this blog to help keep me honest and accountable, as well as My Fitness Pal (my id on there is lostfairychild if you'd like to follow and/or offer some support). I will be posting daily what I weigh, what I ate, and how I exercised. Wish me luck!

Oh- and here's an official "before" picture. 

My friend take awesome photos. He made me look about 50 lbs lighter in that pic than I actually am, but it gives you an idea.

Fake it til you make it!

~The Faux Bandit~